Personal Coaching

Complaining – an emotional cancer habit

Complaining* – an emotional cancer habit

People complain about their problems and challenges. I understand their feelings. My question is this, what good comes out of complaining? Nothing! Let me explain. 

Complaining is an attempt to rationalize or justify one’s circumstances. Those who complain are putting their energy into convincing themselves and their listener that there is nothing they could do to change things for the better. Hogwash! 

Initially it is easy to have compassion for complainers. However, you will find that when you offer a solution or a way to improve things, they will dig their heels in deeper and deeper. It will become apparent that their goal is not to solve their problems or overcome their challenges. Their objective is to complain and convince anyone who will listen to agree with them. With time you will become exhausted and end up distancing yourself from them. 

Consider the following:

  • Complainers are on the job twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
  • When a complainer asks questions, their motive is not to find, discuss, or solve problems. Their motive is to establish their value to the group as a person who is in the know and has legitimate complaints to discuss.
  • Complainers do little productive work because complaining leaves them with little time, energy, and strength to solve the problems or overcome the challenges they are complaining about.
  • Because complainers are often powerful persuaders, capable of inexhaustible conversations, many on the receiving end acquiesce to ease the pounding.
  • With time, complaining becomes a habit.
  • Eventually the habit of complaining becomes an emotional cancer that eats the complainer alive from the inside out, often reaching devastating consequences before the complainer is even aware of the problem.


  • Be resolute about your goals.
  • Refuse to complain about the associated problems and challenges.
  • Insist on putting your energy into the solutions needed to achieve your goals regardless of the problems you must solve or the challenges you must overcome.
  • Watch a miracle happen.

 Truth: Complaining is first and foremost a reflection of the complainer and secondarily a reflection of the situations and circumstances the complainer is in. 

Bottom line: To succeed you must shun the temptation to complain and focus your energy on solving problems and overcoming challenges.

*On occasion I find a topic from one of my mentors worth sharing with our readers. This one is from Dr. James Naccarato of Realigned Coaching.

Yours in Life and Health,

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